This is an interesting article written by CHRISTIANAH AKINDOLIE on child sexual abuses which is becoming an epidemic not only in Nigeria but the world over. Here is the article as culled from a Nigerian newspaper, the Punch newspapers Nigeria. of APRIL 8, 2012. Enjoy it.
Child sexual abuse is a hidden epidemic gradually eating deep into our society. Unfortunately, people hardly speak about it due to our culture and fear of stigmatisation. Children are sexually abused secretly, even by the people they love and depend on. This has brought about long-term emotional and psychological effects on these vulnerable children.
It is unfortunate that parents and guardians do not have enough information to help prevent this social canker from spreading. While at work, the lives of their children are entrusted into the hands of relatives, lesson teachers, swimming instructors, domestic staff and family friends who at one point or the other secretly abuse them. No parent will like to experience the effects of this epidemic which is sometimes permanent in the lives of children.
Recently, I had a talk on sexual abuse with some teenage girls in a boarding school where one of them told me her experience.
According to her, eight years ago when she was five years old, she went to spend the holidays with her grandmother who, one day, left her with the gateman they called Baba (Yoruba word for father). Before grandma returned, the gateman had abused the five-year old sexually.
And because he threatened to kill her, she did not report the issue to her grandmother when she returned. The man ended up sexually abusing her thrice before the end of her horrendous holiday. Even when she got home, the mother noticed that she was withdrawn, but she did not suspect what happened and it has been a secret that the girl has since kept from her relations.
Now 13, she said she still feels the pain in her heart, which makes her unable to socialise or make friends. And though the man passed away two years ago, she still experiences nightmares while the old man’s image keeps appearing in my imagination. You can imagine what children go through without getting help.
The World Health Organisation says one out of every three girls and one out of every six boys will have experienced one form of sexual abuse before attaining the age of 18. Perhaps that was why, in 1999, WHO declared child sexual abuse a public health epidemic; while in 2004, the world body declared it as a major factor fuelling HIV/AIDS and therefore declared it a silent epidemic.
Research shows that over 90 per cent of abusers are people the victim is familiar with. They are people the parents entrust their children to. Children look up to these categories of people for protection in one form or the other.
Sexual abusers could be male or female of any age, different socio-economic groups, ethnic classes, educated or illiterate, employed or unemployed, rich or poor. Unfortunately, it doesn’t show on the face! Adults who take delight in sexually abusing only children are called paedophiles.
Often, there are no clear external signs to show that a child has been sexually abused, and some signs can only be detected after physical examination by a physician. Although not all these signs could necessarily indicate that a child has been sexually assaulted, they may help parents or guardians to recognise the fact that something has gone wrong with their child.
The possibility of abuse should be investigated if a child shows a number of these symptoms or any of them to a certain degree: difficulty in walking or sitting, feeling pain while urinating or having bowel movement, vaginal tears, medical problems such as chronic itching, pain in the genitals, venereal diseases, aggressive behaviour toward family members, teachers, friends, etc.; always being isolated and withdrawn, depression, loss of appetite, insomnia, compulsive eating, showing unusual fear of a certain place or persons, etc. The list is endless.
If a sexually abused child does not undergo proper counselling and rehabilitation, he or she will definitely experience short and long term effects.
The impact of sexual abuse on children can be overwhelming and long-lasting. Since the abused child would have been offended by someone s/he should be able to trust and depend on, they may not comprehend the fact that the abuse was wrong and not their fault.
Sexually-abused children usually feel that something is wrong with them and that the abuse that took place was their fault.
Worse still, parents tend to disbelieve when their children tell them of an abuse. This usually leaves devastating effects on them. Consequently, the victims may feel embarrassed, isolated, guilty, ashamed, and powerless. The effects of sexual abuse are powerful and usually come to the fore later in life.
Prevention is better than cure, so says the adage. Parents do not have to wait until the deed is done before looking for preventive measures. Every child is at risk of being sexually abused and everything must be done to prevent it.
Knowledge is power. Experts advise that parents should start teaching their children sex education from age three. However, many parents do not even know what to say to their children. I’ll advise that you get books and other materials that will give you more information on sex education. If you don’t teach them, someone else will, and it’s very much likely to be the wrong information.
Also, parents must teach their children that their bodies belong to them and they have the right to decide what they do with their bodies, and who they allow to touch them.
Children should be taught to value their bodies by teaching them to also respect other people’s body. Adults should also respect children’s wishes. Let them know that no one has the right to touch any child without her permission. Do not force your child to hug or kiss any relative if he or she doesn’t want to. Allow them to reject such gestures politely.
-Akindolie is the Founder/Project Coordinator, Christianah Fate Foundation, which advocates the prevention of child sexual abuse. website http://www.christianahfatefoundation.org
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